Could I Have Been Monogamous for Him?

A podcast question recently hit me hard: "Would you give up non-monogamy for the right person?" It made me revisit a promise I made to my ex—that I could be monogamous just for him. At the time, it felt like a loving sacrifice, but looking back, I wonder if I was just bargaining away a core part of myself to keep the relationship afloat. The truth is, I tried. I really did. But suppressing my desire for connection with others didn't make me more devoted—it made me resentful. I started feeling like a watered-down version of myself, constantly editing my thoughts and attractions. The relationship ended anyway, and I was left wondering if I ever could have sustained that promise long-term without losing myself entirely. Now, I'm not sure "the right person" would ever ask me to change such a fundamental part of who I am. Maybe compatibility isn't about molding yourself into someone else's ideal, but finding someone who celebrates the whole package—non-monogamy included. Has anyone else made a monogamous promise for a partner? Did it work out, or did you eventually feel like you were living someone else's life?

#nonmonogamy #relationshipboundaries #authenticself #monogamish