The Fine Art of Fellatio (For Women Only)
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This is a graphic description of things that can be done
to pleasure a man orally. I've read all I could find and
interviewed a lot of men to be able to bring you as thorough
a coverage of the subject as I can.
article is for women who would like to improve their skills
at fellatio. And it's for men who would like to have their
partner be better at it by being able to communicate better
or by simply having her read this article.
men love oral sex. They like to give and they like to receive.
For many, having a women perform fellatio on them is their
favorite thing. Caroline and Charles Muir, godparents of
American tantra, talk about it as "honoring his lingham."
A truly beautiful idea. (Lingham: Sanskrit for penis).
interviewed many men so I could have accurate information
for my workshops. The thing that seems most important is
enthusiasm. No teeth comes second, and technique third.
Even when I asked gay men (I figured who would be better
able to tell me) they also said enthusiasm. Imagine how
it would be to have someone down there when you knew they
didn't want to be.
women just can't bring themselves to do it, some do it begrudgingly
and some enjoy it but don't want him to ejaculate in her
mouth, or swallow.
I've spoken to many women who don't want to do it because
they're insecure about what to do and how well they do it.
When a women is performing fellatio on a man, if she's self
conscious, she feels as if she's on stage. There's nothing
else going on. Plus, she knows how much men like it, so
that adds pressure. It's easier to avoid it all together.
women may be offended by the way a man smells or tastes.
Possibly he needs to be more thorough when he bathes. Some
women don't like the taste of semen. There might be some
dietary changes he can make. I'm told if a man eats a lot
of beef this can affect his taste in a negative way. If
a man has a partner who wants to pleasure him but doesn't
like his taste, try different dietary changes and maybe
you can solve the problem.
a man receives fellatio he's generally extremely grateful.
If a woman swallows his semen, he looks at it as a huge
honor. If you can learn to truly enjoy the whole process,
you'll have an unbelievably happy man on your hands. Remember,
number one, enthusiasm. For women who enjoy giving their
partner this ultimate pleasure, here are some pointers.
of all, be sure you're comfortable. The best way that his
penis fits into your mouth is if you sit between his legs
and lean over him. This also allows him a good view.
him know you're enjoying it as much as he is. Make noises,
look at him with passionate eyes, treat his penis as if
it's the most important thing in the world. To him, at this
moment, it is.
more to a man's sexuality than his penis, however. Before
even touching his penis, tease him by tickling with light
feather strokes and kissing his chest, his belly, his hips,
his inner thighs, moving closer but not yet touching him.
Brush across his penis as if by accident as you kiss and
stroke all around it. Kiss or lick it lightly, then move
you do move to touching his penis directly, your frame of
mind should be of honoring and making love to this amazing
organ of pleasure. You're giving him a kind of pleasure
that compares to nothing else.
his penis isn't hard yet, hold it gently in your hand and
put your mouth completely around it, all the way to the
base. Swirl your tongue around it, especially the head.
Then, pull it slowly out of your mouth, as you suck on it.
Do this a few times. The sensation for him is generally
enough to get him hard right away.
an aside, a soft penis can be quite enjoyable for both of
you. We have this idea that sex only happens with a hard-on.
Some of the best lovemaking occurs with a soft-on.
to our topic. Now that he's hard, do a variety of things,
mixing them up, surprising him with new thrills. Use your
hand to hold him up most of the time so your mouth doesn't
get tired. When you do find your jaw getting tired, take
him out of your mouth, kiss and swirl your tongue around
the tip, lick up and down the outside of his shaft, especially
that ridge on the back, lick his testicles, his scrotum.
Make it pleasurable for you both.
forget that you're making love to his penis and let go of
the goal that you're just trying to make him come. This
is about savoring the experience, for both of you.
him deep into your mouth once in a while, but not all the
time. You don't have to be a Linda Lovelace. The shaft is
not as sensitive as the head. Move up and down, varying
the speed, rhythm, and depth. If you put just slightly more
pressure around his shaft as you're moving away from him,
it feels good because it follows the natural flow of semen.
at him once in a while. That can really turn him on. Men
like to watch. Let him know you like it too. Swirl your
tongue around the head of his penis, the most sensitive
part. Kiss it. Go back to moving in and out. Keep varying
what you're doing, but don't jump from one thing to another
too quickly either -- just long enough to where he might
want a bit more.
your other hand, tickle his belly, his thighs, and his testicles.
Sometimes hold his testicles firmly, as you might to test
the ripeness of a peach. You don't want to hurt him, but
if the pressure is firm, not hard, and even, it can feel
very good to him.
his scrotum, softly and then with pressure, being careful
not to hurt him. There's a spot about half an inch from
his anus towards his scrotum that's especially sensitive.
Touch that with mild pressure and soft strokes. Or stroke
you sense he's getting close to orgasm, the attention should
focus on his penis. For orgasm, generally a man likes a
more continuous rhythm, up and down on his penis. Swirl
your tongue as you move up and down. Stroke his testicles.
This will drive him wild and he may have the most intense
orgasm of his life.
your hand around his shaft, while your mouth is around the
head, and stroke him. Follow your mouth with your hand.
Do this very slowly at times, savoring his pleasure, and
then pick up the speed. Use a firm grip, keeping the shaft
wet with your mouth, allowing your hand to slide up and
down, try slightly less pressure as you move toward him
and more as you move away.
your move upward to the tip of his penis, swirl your tongue
around the head, then move down the shaft again. Each time
you move toward the head, swirl your tongue. Get a good
rhythm going. Really get into making love to his lingham.
he begins his orgasm, be especially aware of what he wants.
He might hold your head and move you or slow you down. He
might want to use his own hand. Allow whatever at this moment
-- it's his moment and he's lost in the pleasure that you've
created for him. Savor it.
prolong his pleasure, after he's come, very gently -- too
much can be uncomfortable because it overstimulates -- continue
to pleasure him, swirling and moving ever so slowly.
may not want to have an orgasm and want to be inside of
you. Or you may want him inside of you. Ask him and see
what his reaction is. If he wants you to stay there, you'll
probably want to do what he's wanting at this time, since
this is about pleasuring him right now. Allow him to lead.
After he's come, you can slide him inside of you while he's
main thing is to be intuitive about what he's liking and
wanting. Ask him to guide you, to tell you exactly what
he likes. If you let him know you really want to please
him, he'll be happy to oblige with specific instructions.
Keep the communication sexy, not clinical. Sometimes just
saying "Tell me what you want," is enough to get
his input. Each man is individual. These are just some ideas
men may like it just one way and don't want you to mix it
up. That's why communication is so important. If you're
wanting to do this for him, you certainly want to do what
he likes. Try new things but be willing to her that it doesn't
work for him. Let him know you want to pleasure him. It's
the highest compliment you can give him.
importantly, be spontaneous, creative, playful, sexy and
enjoy being able to give pleasure that he'll not soon forget.
Allow yourself to really get lost in the experience.
men will be thrilled with whatever you're doing. The only
complaints I hear in my interviews is not being careful
enough with the teeth, treating his lingham as if it's not
part of him, not doing it long enough or often enough, and
most importantly, not being enthusiastic about being there.
you're goal is pleasuring him, you'll be great. Hopefully
this will show you that being creative, having a loving
attitude, and being willing to make it an enjoyable activity
for both of you will create a fantastic experience.
you're enthusiastic, passionate, and sexy, he'll go wild
and your confidence as a lover will skyrocket.
© MMIII - Kara Oh. Reprinted with permission. Kara
Oh, is a motivational speaker, author, web site maven, advice
columnist, wife, mother of grown children and Ibu to her
7 year old grandson. In her book, "Men Made Easy,"
Kara reveals twelve essential secrets that every woman needs
to know so she can counter the odds of our 50% divorce rate.